Remember that time I decided to “do Europe” in three weeks? Yeah, me too—mostly because my bank account still hasn’t recovered. But hey, was it worth it? Absolutely.
The Plan (Or Lack Thereof)
I landed in Paris with a backpack, a Eurail pass, and zero ability to pronounce “croissant” correctly. (Spoiler: It’s not “kwa-sont.”) My itinerary? A chaotic mix of “must-sees” and “ooh, that looks fun!”
Paris: Where I Ate My Weight in Baguettes
Highlights:
- Attempted French. Failed. Ordered “un café” like 12 times just to feel sophisticated.
- Got lost in the Louvre. Found the Mona Lisa. Couldn’t see her through the selfie sticks.
- Ate a crepe bigger than my face near the Eiffel Tower. No regrets.
Lowlight:
- Tried to be ~artsy~ at Sacré-Cœur. Pigeon stole my croissant. Rude.
Amsterdam: Bikes, Bridges & Near-Death Experiences
- Rented a bike. Immediately almost crashed into a canal. (Why are Dutch people so good at this?!)
- Took a boat tour. Learned that “cozy” in Dutch means “tiny, historic, and probably haunted.”
- Visited the Van Gogh Museum. Pretended to understand art. Nodded a lot.
Berlin: Techno, Currywurst & a Walk of Shame
- Party fail. Went to a techno club. Got rejected for “not looking sad enough.” (???)
- Ate currywurst at 3 AM. Best life decision.
- Found a free walking tour. Guide roasted Hitler so hard, I almost felt bad for the guy. (Almost.)
Prague: Fairytale Town, Actual Goblins
- Charles Bridge at sunrise. Magical. Also, why was I awake at sunrise?!
- Drank absinthe. Suddenly understood why Hemingway wrote weird stuff.
- Found a secret medieval bar. (No, I won’t tell you where. Yes, it involved a password.)
Rome: Gladiator Fantasies & Gelato Addiction
- Threw a coin in the Trevi Fountain. Still waiting on that “return to Rome” luck.
- Colosseum tour. Imagined myself as Russell Crowe. Guide crushed my dreams: “Gladiators mostly died.” Cool.
- Ate gelato every. Single. Day. No regrets, only stretchy pants.
Lessons Learned
✅ Hostel life = best life. Met a Canadian who taught me how to open wine with a shoe. (Game-changer.)
✅ Night trains save money… and sanity. Slept through Germany. Woke up confused but well-rested.
✅ Google Translate is a liar. “Delicious” in Italian does not mean “free.” (Learned the hard way.)
Final Verdict
Europe chewed me up, spit me out, and left me with:
- A camera roll full of blurry castle pics
- A new hatred for cobblestones
- An unhealthy obsession with €1 espressos
10/10 would chaos-travel again.
Where should I go next? Drop your wildest travel suggestions below!
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